Journal of Dreams: A prologue

(My First blog Entry for 2021 about my dreams and a possible prologue of a dream examination series - Valred Olsim)

Growing up, I dream in my sleep a lot - the dreams are vivid, very real that they have profound effect in my waking life. Nevertheless, I learned to shrug them off because I thought that they are common experiences by people.

My view on dreams changed after my father died. After we buried him in Montanosa and we were about to drive home to La Trinity, I took an afternoon nap in his bed at their old family house. In my dream, he was assisting all of us in a convoy telling us that we can all go home, that it is now okay to go home. I was calling him to join us but he just stared at us. Then I woke up drenched in tears shouting “Papa!”. I dreamed of him frequently since then – the scenes were always about riding in a vehicle together, or touring around…the destinations were always unclear, hazy. Yet, these dreams have given me comfort in my grieving moments.

The experience made me value dreams better. Hence, I started paying more attention to what my dreams mean, not necessarily as indicators of the future or as a paranormal phenomena, but of how my subconscious work, or how my internal turmoil plays in my being. Perhaps, one of the example is the common dream of floating, or not arriving in a specific destination, which probably meant that I feel that my hopes of accomplishing my dreams are put on hold, or the feeling of unresolved goals. In recognizing these deep emotions, I can spot the source of my frustrations and stresses.

However, although I consider myself a logical person, I cannot help but be amazed on how dreams tend to serve as a warning to future happenings. For instance, prior to receiving the news of one of my life’s biggest failures, I already dreamed of being bitten by a snake. The fear it brought, and the huge feeling of loss actually happened. They say it is a difficult spiritual experience that we need to experience in order to grow. Whether it is a warning for an impending failure, or a subconscious scream of opening my eyes to my misguided confidence, dreams have become as much as a reality as my real waking life.

Last night, after a day that puts me in one of my career’s biggest challenge that involved being singled-out in a charge, I dreamed of joining (or being forced?) in a bicycle race. In my dream, I hesitated at first, telling the participants that I have not trained for the strenuous physical activity. Then, I went along with it for the experience, not expecting anything. Then, a steep hill climb which required carrying bicycles in a muddy uphill trail happened. With that, I somehow caught up with the rest of them who are more than 30 participants.

On my way to the top where I breezed through most of them for some reason, I was congratulated by faceless organizers telling me that I won 7th place. Although I didn’t win the top three ranks, I felt that I won because compared to them, I was just an occasional biker where they are real racers (Plus, the number 7 which is my favorite number, is a symbol of triumph). As a bonus, the dream showed that people paid attention to me and expressed their fondness of me. Number 7 also meant that one has spiritually matured after a long span of learning cycle.  

Whether this dream is a reflection or message of what is in store for me, or an expression of my confidence of my life quote that “whatever happens, we will not only survive but we will win”, I will take this dream anytime especially in our preset challenging situations.

A dream can become reality, and reality can become a dream...