Thursday, March 14, 2013

Some Funny Lawschool lines (I think) :)

Most of my batch mates have been drinking at bars for days now...true to their title: bar-takers (bartikeros). Apparently, they have already taken their final exams and will only wait for a few more weeks before they graduate (congratulations!). They will be taking the bar exams this year, and hopefully become lawyers next year. I can’t help but keep a little envy – I could’ve joined them if only I’ve made some right decisions in the last two years. But then, as lower beings who are sadly out of focus, and out of luck, we have yet to wait for another year or two. It sucks.

Or maybe a miracle will happen. If all goes well, then summer must be the answer from the heavens. *Sigh, I'll be crossing my fingers for that!

One can’t help but feel depressed. Spending years  in law school had already demanded sacrifices – no time for friends, family, social life, and personal passions. Being a community official and a part-time teacher (and taking Masters Degree at the same time) did not help either. Something is doomed to fail. Juggling things is difficult after all.

To vanquish such a gloomy mood, I tried to recall some laughter in those years. At least to console myself that I have made the right choice in staying, even with the grueling task of facing 'judgment' every meeting. Most of these lines are funnier when you have the background though. Well, here are my top 12 (not in any order):

1.    In Law on Property, “the Cloud on the title is not so cirrus (serious)”, and the Prof. smiled. - Nakuha ko lang after ten minutes.

2.    In Taxation regarding appeals, “Mandamus will not lie!” napaka-honest  naman ng ‘Mandamus’ na yan! - * Laughter.

3.     In Criminal review, sir stood for five minutes then finally said: "Let’s proceed to your 'alleged review'". - Judge Patnaan is always sarcastic.

4.    “Sanamagan ng Sanamagan” ang mga lawyer na yan!, akala nila nakakatawa ung term!  - Sa totoo lang ang sarap kasing bigkasin ung “Sanamagan” (son of a gun) hehehe

5.     “Stop the delaying tactics in our recitation! This is not remedial law! Inulit ulit din to eh hehe

6.    Pupunta ka sa pinaka-pangit na court, and Supreme Court. Yan lang ang walang “appeal” eh. - Nyak. May tama ka Dean hehe. (*Rest in peace Dean Gumpic..)

7.    “Penal in nature” not “Penile in nature”, iba yun hehe Narinig ko na sa halos lahat ng criminal law prof.

8.    In civil law, “alam natin yang possession na yan (pronounced as ‘position’)...: Dog. – Bwiset.;) Naalala ko tuloy ung Naked  Title sa civil law.

9.    Sumo-sobra na eh! He pushed his luck too hard (pertaining to the non-lawyer MTC Judge who applied  as RTC Judge). Sinobraan na met! – It’s funnier if you’ve heard it from Pros. Maranes!

10.  In Political Law; "In the case of VirJen Shipping and Marine Services, Inc. vs. National Seamen Board...The workers are the Seamen (semen), papasok sila sa VirJen (virgin)" Atty. Gacayan really has the pornographic memory! haha!

11.  In a recitation, my classmate started with, “Sir, I believe..” The prof. interrupted him immediately with: “DO NOT BELIEVE!...I’m not asking you to believe anything” Wala lang, parang duet lang kasi hehe (tapos nakakatawa talaga expression ni sir)hehe

12.  In Evidence; “The case of People vs. Pagpaguitan…” (paused and laughs), which I suspect is the neighbor of Mr. Olsim ( because it seemed that the name came from Mt. Province) – Mas nakakatawa talaga pag si Sir Mark nagsabi hehe 

      As usual, my poor memory failed me. Marami pa toh eh. I will update them the soonest that I remember things. It will be a tragedy kong eto lang funny lines in those  years. Hahaha. 

Yet, the real fun, perhaps, is being with many great people in those years. Indeed, I have learned a lot. Good luck and all the best to Batch 2014 of CCDC-LAW!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Free beer (Fast Fiction)

A little of the moist he considered only necessary to swab the chalk dust which settled on his palms. ‘501’ must be reduced by pummeling small arrows from a good seven feet and nine inches away – the one-fourth inch tape included. The bucket of beer for him was never just a bet, not even the packs of cigarette. What is it that sets their mood? A Billy Joel song? The new nineteen-year old waitress?

“Double twenty!” his new partner yelled. And double twenty indeed. At forty, he had doubled his wealth but also doubled his wives (and debts). ‘Men and their insatiable pleasures’, they always say that. But, in his many years of drinking with journalists, politicians, lawyers, doctors, teachers, artists, musicians, and what have you, he had come up with the conclusion that men are pigs indeed. At least after a few beers.

The college students on table number four beside the bar exploded with laughter, probably talking about some little adventure they did. He used to be as trim as them, he remembered. Then work, age, and stress came; and the car he bought was used more often, even on a mere five-hundred-meter walk. It didn't help too that big grills of pork and beef became part of his daily diet. Add the visits at bars to drown the pressure of two wives, and his weight is doomed to rise.‘Screw life, we eat and drink because tomorrow we die’. They always say that. Not after a bypass or a costly operation though. A visit to the doctor in some pale room always scares them. Changes them a bit, and makes them re-evaluate their lives – even their last will and testament. He had thought about that too. After all, a few of his friends had already kicked the bucket to meet their maker.
“Out!” his partner had aimed for that green flake of that pie but missed. Perhaps that it is the price for secretly cursing the moon. He steadied himself mechanically to execute the drill. For that moment, he was a deity holding a thunder bolt. Just like an artist who escapes this world by painting their own reality, he raised his left hand victoriously for a high-five. His minions rose to applaud. They are now sure that the couple of beers they have grabbed are free. 

Nothing beats free beers.